Grief-findor

How do people grieve? When my dad died I know I cried buckets—from the ICU where I first saw him unconscious until his burial and some other instances after it as well. I remember trying to comfort myself by believing that if I think that it’s just like he’s out of the country for work (like he used to be) it wouldn’t hurt as much. It worked for a couple of years but later on I came to realize that I can never really escape the searing pain of loss.

For almost 5 years I almost thought that I’d already passed this phase, but I’m dead wrong. The feeling of hurt and guilt every time I think about him is still there and is still the same. I still find myself breaking down when pain strikes me in a jiffy most especially when my emotions are unguarded. Just like the other day when I was on my way to work, I saw this cute little girl being walked to the prep school in our village by his father. Then I remember that my dad used to do that when I was a kid, every time he gets the chance he was ecstatic to do it, he used to wait by the tree house near my school until we finish. Then that’s it, right then and there it hit me.

“one can resist tears and 'behave' very well
in the hardest hours of grief.
But when someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window,
or one notices that a flower in bud only yesterday
had suddenly blossomed,
or a letter slips from a drawer
... everything collapses.”
~Colette

He was never one of those cool dads but I know in some way he wished he was one. This may be too late but you know what? He is indeed cool in more ways than one.

I’ve read somewhere that resolving grief is a long process. Some took 10, 20 years to resolve it. They say that you’ll know that you’ve already resolved your grief when you go through life without intense pain and longing. It means that you can think of the years you had with that someone and smile. It means that you can think of him without hurting. I don’t know when I’ll be able to experience those for myself, but I’m certain that I’m no longer taking the shortcut anymore no matter how painful it can be.

I realized that maybe I can never move on, I may at least learn to live with it but I can never ever move on. You see, once you’ve lost someone special in your life permanently you’ll never run out of what if’s and what might have been’s—I never did. And I can never stop myself from wishing things that concerns being with him. Upon his then sudden departure, he took with him a part of me that no one can ever replace and that space where that part was taken will forever be empty.

My heart will never ever fail to remember.

Just say NO

Yes, I'm still alive. Can't think about anything to share, though, aside from this:



More details here

Click here for the list of Congressmen who supports this sh*t.

Is it just me or someone's really wanting to extend their term?

Creative Outburst My A$$

In connection to my previous post, here’s Mr. Fajardo’s side:

“Figure of speech ang kanyang ginawa eh. Bilang fashion designer, artist nga, ay minsan ay nagkakaroon ng mga creative outburst dahil na rin siguro sa pagod na nafi-feel niya ng mga panahon na iyon,” Ricky Rivera, the designer’s spokesman, told ABS-CBN’s morning show, “Umagang Kay Ganda.”

Hahaha! What a joke, creative outburst? That’s a very creative mind you have there, Mr. Fajardo. You, especially the person who came up with this statement should be sorry for putting REAL artists on a bad light.

"He said everything could have been better understood if the video had audio so that the conversations could have been heard."

O c’mon! There’s no valid reason on making someone kneel before you. Really.

"He said the online petitioners should consider Fajardo’s rising international status before pursuing the boycott."

For what? For him to do the same thing abroad? No, thank you!

“It’s sad because this happened when there are foreigners interested in bringing a Filipino brand abroad, in Switzerland, and United Arab Emirates, because his [Fajardo’s] creations are unique,” Rivera said.

Oh really now? I say the timing is just right, can’t imagine how big his ego should’ve been if this happens. Karma’s a b!tch isn’t it?

And if this helps, SUBSTANCE and INITIALS are his labels being carried by Robinsons and SM Department Stores

How rude can people get?

Read this here

WHO IS BOYET FAJARDO???

On Sept. 1, 1980, he opened his first shop on Banaue street in Quezon City as a bid to join the big names in the made-to-order industry at 17 and a college sophomore (at UST, where he was majoring in Fine Arts). Boyet Fajardo believed that he had what it takes to make it in fashion alongside the more established names like Ben Farrales.

Today, Boyet is one of the biggest names in RTW. His Boyet Fajardo line is carried in all Robinsons stores—there are about 20 of them all over Metro Manila and in the provinces—and the Landmark. Since making the big shift from couture clothes to RTW Boyet Fajardo can truly be called a success. He has become both an artistic and financial success. In fact, he recently had his new office-cum-residence located in Valle Verde, officially blessed. The house, which has a large garden, is doted with Boyet’a favorite antiques and paintings. He also recently bought a house in nearby Acropolis, which was blessed on Nov. 28, a blessing that was attended by many of Boyet’s longtime clients and friends.

He has truly come a long way…..

Well that is how he was, till we came across and saw how far his success has made him.

Last March 13, 2009, a Friday the 13th, (specially for the store people of Duty Free Phils), We and our Tatay Rey, who just arrived from ABU DHABI (as OFW) a day before. went to Duty Free Phils Fiestamall in Paranaque ( just beside NAIA 1) to shop and point. Or we point and he’ll buy…hehehe:)

While waiting in line at the cashiers to pay our goodies…we saw a customer at the top of his voice berating the cashiers and managers of duty free for, by his accounts, messing around with him. From what my sister told me, it was about a credit card purchase that the cashier (who we heard was just a casual employee) was kindly asking for the irate customer's other ID’s to vouch the legit owner of the credit card which is also “unsigned”, a normal operating procedure when shopping there to avoid misuse of those with con minds.

He might have thought a celebrated person like he is. with all his accolades and fame has gone unrecognized by this cashier person. A new worker who is carefully doing his job. A job he is trained to do. Tsk tsk tsk…
While Store Managers and officers were sought to appease the matter, explaining to him that it is all included as a standard operating procedure in credit card payment for the safety, not only for the company but also his own.

Ignoring all this, he pulled out his phone and threatened to call on high positioned people whom he allegedly knew, to seem to us like do a power-play and make these people realize how important he is.. he went on using words like “LECHE KAYO, DI NYO KO KILALA? AKO SI BOYET FAJARDO! AT ITONG P..I.. NA BABAENG ITO, (pointing to a lady officer) AT ANG BAKLANG ITO (pointing to the cashier) AY WALANG KWENTANG MGA TAO! I WANT THEM FIRED!!!

His yelling and berating went on and on, he cannot calm down and as he appeared to have bloodshot eyes, like that of a drunk person and or under an influence. He goes on to say, that only if the cashier kneel down before him and/or allow him to freely slap the persons face, may he get satisfied!!!

AND, you know what happened next….the ill-fated cashier, with all the onlookers including us watching, stand down and just simply gave in to probably he thought would end the matter, so crying in shame he slowly knelt down and apologize (for actually doing his job) before this self proclaimed GOD…. No slapping was made to the cashier’s face but the incident landed a harsher and reverberating sound to the faces of the lesser people of this society.

Go on let us patronize Mr Boyet Fajardo's products and services and let us give him more money,to make him more powerful, affluent and comfortable to do such awful discrimination and victimize the underprivileged over and over and over again.

I have nothing against Mr BOYET FAJARDO….but now I think I do.

Excerpts from the said incident can be viewed here

**********


Yes, I don't know what exactly happened but whatever it is I definitely don't think it is worth kneeling for. What more can he do if he's as famous as Rajo Laurel, Inno Sotto or any well known designer for that matter?

My Initial reaction: Signed the online petition on my side bar. Sorry.

Can't imagine how traumatizing it has been for the poor cashier.

Last night

Up to what extent are you willing to sacrifice for your loved ones?

My dad who passed away 5 years ago was an OFW. My dad and I are not close with each other. From the day that I was born he only gets to stay at home for a month every year. My best memory of him was every Sunday, which is considered our family day. I used to get anything that I ask him to buy for me. From trolls, Barbie dolls, play-dohs and many more when I was younger to designer shoes and clothes during my teen years—he bought almost anything.

When I was a child all I cared about are those toys and dolls that he could give me when he gets home, all I cared about are those clothes that I could ask him to buy for me. Thinking about it now makes me feel so bad about myself, I was so insensitive. I never thought of the hard work that he’s done, all the days on the calendar that he used to tick one by one waiting earnestly for the day for him to spend time with us—his only family.

Last night, some colleagues and I had a small talk about working abroad. Colleague 1 had worked abroad for 2 years, Colleagues 2 and 3 is planning to go abroad to work for their family’s future. The conversation focused on only one thing: homesickness.

Colleague 1 didn’t ever planned to renew his 2-year contract then due to homesickness. According to him, he tried any kind of sports activity that he could do abroad just to not be struck with boredom. Though he decided to leave the country to earn money, there even came a point where he wasn’t able to save up his salary for his sports activity’s expenses (e.g. wet suit for scuba diving, etc.)—just to kill the boredom that he feels. According to him, he have a friend who after staying abroad for 3 months booked a flight home in an instant because he can no longer endure the loneliness and longing for his family.

Colleagues 2 & 3 are hesitant of leaving for they are afraid to leave their family behind. They are afraid that their children might not be well taken care of if they’re not the one taking care of them. They’re sad that they won’t be able to witness special occasions such as graduation, birthdays, first stage performance, etc. in their child’s life.

I’m very much open on how sorry I am for I wasn’t able to spend more quality time with my dad when he was still alive. But after last night’s conversation I felt so heavy, it’s as if my heart had been jack hammered a thousand times.

Homesickness indeed is a really serious opponent. I wonder how my dad handled it? he started working abroad even before my older brother was born. If we’re going to do the math he’d worked for almost 25 years. Whatever it is, I admire how he motivated himself to stay that long. I admired how he endured those sleepless nights. I admired how he took it whenever he reads our letters of happiness and achievement but then he’s not here to celebrate it with us.

I feel so bad about myself for I was never able to show how thankful I am of him and his hard work. If not for him we won’t be able to have what we have right now. Kung naging ibang tao lang sya baka hindi na nya ma-endure ang homesickness na nararanasan nya dun, uuwi na lang sya dito at sabay sabay na lang kaming magdi-dildil ng asin. Pero napaka swerte naming magkakakapatid dahil sya ang naging tatay namin. I gave him and my mom a lot of problems during my teen years. In spite of it all he still loved me and cared for me. I sometimes think that I didn’t deserve to be his daughter, but I guess he had no choice that’s how everything works, God has a purpose in everything.

As much as I want to make it up to him, hindi na pwede. I just hope that he was able to forgive the selfish and insensitive me back then. I know that he’s happy that I’m making it up to mom now, I’ve learned my lesson and I’ll try my very best not to make the same mistake again.

After last night, I’m more convinced that even though I am the brattiest child a parent could ever have I’m so damn lucky for having the most selfless and loving person in the whole world as my dad.

Mautak na bata nga siguro ako nuon, alam na alam kong ibibigay nya sakin kahit anong hingin ko. Bakit? Dahil para sa kanya nakakabawi sya sa pang-iiwan nya sa amin sa ganung paraan. Little did I know na kami ang dapat bumawi sa kanya, kami ang dapat magbigay sa kanya ng mga kailangan at gusto nya, kami ang dapat magsilbi sa kanya—Dahil sya ang nagpapakahirap magtrabaho at magpaalipin sa ibang bansa para mabigyan kami ng buhay na tinatamasa namin ngayon.

Jeepers Creepers

Patok, Sabit, Sarao, “God knows Hudas not pay”, “Hila mo, Hinto ko”, “Barya lang po sa Umaga”, Ilan lang yan sa mga salitang naka pag papaalala sa atin ng pinaka popular na mode of transportation dito sa Pilipinas—Ang Jeep.

At kung mahilig kang sumakay nito o kung sa araw araw na ginawa ng Diyos ay sumasakay ka nito, alam mo kung ano ang tawag sayo? JEEPers Creepers. Salitang nabuo ng ilang kaibigan ko nuong kolehiyo. Ito ay ginamit na pang-aasar sa ibang kaibigan na nakaugalian nang sumakay ng Jeep papasok ng eskuwelahan upang makapagtipid. Read: Simula Rizal hanggang Maynila naka-jeep, tipong ganon. Hindi pa gawa ang LRT-2 nun, kaya G-Liner (1 ride) at FX (2 rides) lang ang pinaka common na sasakyan ng mga estudyanteng manggagaling sa Rizal papasok ng Maynila dati.

Hindi ako mahilig sumakay ng Jeep. Oo, maarte ako. Kung may ibang option din lang naman ako e di mas pipiliin ko nang mag-fx kaysa ang mag-jeep. Sino ba naman ang may gustong gawing pang finishing touches ang alikabok sa mukha mong pagka tagal tagal mong inayos? Ako ayoko, ikaw ba gusto mo?

Due to unavoidable circumstances, tulad ng paglipat namin ng opisina. May mga panahong kakailanganin ko talagang sumakay ng jeep. Maikling byahe lang naman at sa pag-uwi lang, kaya tanggap ko na rin kahit papano. In a way, JEEPers Creepers na rin ako, hehehe.

May napansin lang ako sa mga jeep ngayon, lalung-lalo na sa mga patok na jeep. You’re a major loser kung hindi mo alam kung ano yung “patok”. Yung mga jeep na kung baga sa kotse e naka-set up at may pagkalakas-lakas na sounds na parang wala ng bukas kung magpatugtog yung driver, ganon. Tip ko lang, dapat magdadala ka ng saktong pambayad sa jeep para hindi ka na mahirapan kunin ang sukli mo sa lakas ng pagpapatugtog ng mga driver na yon. Ewan ko lang ha? pero parang feeling ko technique din ng ibang driver yon para kunyari wala silang naririnig. Ang hirap kaya sumigaw simula sa dulo ng jeep para lang marinig ng driver na hinihingi mo yung sukli mo.

Bakit ako nagkakaganto?

Oo, hindi nasuklian yung bente na binayad ko nung sumakay ako ng jeep nung isang linggo. pffftt!

The other side of Baguio

Before, whenever I think about Baguio I'm reminded of this:



and this:



But now, whenever I think about Baguio I'm haunted by this:

A generous amount of money was stolen, 5 units of mobile phone and a newly bought watch. And before I forget, they/he/she/it also took everything we bought from the market. Kilos of pork, beef, fish and what have yous that we're scheduled to cook for our daily meals were not spared.

Fortunately none of us got hurt, provided that the culprit took the knives in the kitchen meaning one wrong move and we're done. Being fast asleep is still a blessing in disguise after all.

All these time I thought people are all good in Baguio, I'm proven otherwise.

Moral Lesson: Wag magtipid, spend all the money that you have. Just kidding.

office transfer update

Our office interior, most especially the showroom, is not done yet that's why I won't post pictures of it right now, maybe next time I will. Our work area is almost done but our boxes aren't opened yet for we are still waiting for the cabling to be finished. We've been here for 3 days now and our nose are used to the smell of cement and rugby all around the place "wow pare, heaven".

I'm right, transportation to and from work now is exhausting than ever. Whatever road I take, may it be via edsa ayala mrt (riding fort bus, the overpass steps are just too steep) or pricesmart fort, it always requires me to walk for like a thousand or more meters. E I always like walking kaya, hahahaha! NOT!. Arrrggghh!

Pero in fairness, our new office is way way better than before. It's much bigger, and the furnitures and fixtures are all brand new PC ko na lang ang hindi. Mc Donald's is just a block away and 711 is just across the street. But too bad there's no jolly jeep anywhere near us. We still have to wait for a month for our building's canteen to be opened, I heard they will have a jolly jeep style canteen on the 3rd floor. And also the building's elevator is way faster than the ones we have in our old office plus they have 6! and its fast! Hahaha! Enough of my elevator dilemma. All I wanted to say is I'll get used to this in time, give me a month or two and everything will just be plain and simple for me. I'm enjoying my view right now, and I bet our guys will enjoy our meeting room's view too. Hehehe.

view from my workplace


view from one of our meeting rooms, nice view isn't it?hehehe. Rumors say that a famous kapuso actor lives here. Clue: R.G.

SMILE!

Salamat kay lyzius, dahil kung hindi dahil sa pag-tag nya sakin wala akong maiisip na i-post dito.

Hindi ko alam kung pano ko uumpisahan to dahil likas naman talaga akong masayahing tao.

Uhmmm…

Ahhh…

O cge in no particular order na lang, kung ano na lang ang pumasok sa utak ko.

Ay potek, 10 lang pala kailangan kung anu ano pa iniisip ko hahaha. O cge i-shorlist ko na lang.

10 things that make me smile

1. Seeing the people around me happy. I like to be surrounded by jolly people simply because madali akong mahawa which I think is a good thing. But the bad thing is, madali rin akong mahawa ng sadness, lalo na when it concerns my family.

2. Pasalubongs. It’s a nice feeling to know that you’re being thought about. Kahit ano pa yan, mapa-key chain or isang pirasong candy ok lang sakin.

3. My birthday. As in pagkamulat na pagkamulat ng mata ko naka-smile na ko, can’t wait for what’s in store for me on my special day.

4. Christmas. I’ve always loved the Christmas season. -ber months pa lang excited na ko, though never pa ko nakakumpleto ang simbang gabi. I love the long vacations, the cold Christmas breeze, hearing Christmas carols being played by our neighbors. I love monito-monita and exchange gifts. I love making my Christmas wish list (kahit hindi natutupad). I love giving gifts to loved ones and seeing them giddy while opening it. At syempre pa makakalimutan ko ba naman ang Christmas bonus? Hehehe.

5. Morning greetings. Merong fx na almost everyday kong nasasakyan and manong driver never fails to greet each and everyone good morning.

6. Kulitan. Speaking of morning greetings, yung unahan namin ni Jason ng pag-greet ng good morning sa YM. Hahaha, makes my day kahit na lagi akong talo. Kulitan is definitely a good way to start the day.

And another thing, kulitan with my brother every night. Malakas pareho kiliti namin, kaya imagine-in mo na lang pag kaming 2 ang nagkilitian. Mabubulabog ang mga kapitbahay sa sigaw naming dalawa. Kulitan can also be a good way to end the day right? Masakit nga lang sa katawan. hehehe.

7. Weekend movie marathons on a lazy weekend or movie dates if it’s a good day to go out.

8. Bookstores. Okay lang sakin kahit iwan mo ko dun ng buong araw.

9. Forwarded text quotes. Sobrang rare na to nangyayari sakin ngayon, hehehe.

10. Oo na, taking pictures. Automatic na daw ang smile ko pag nakakakita ng camera. Hahaha!


And now I tag...

*drum roll please*

Axel

and

Ayz

Ayan tinirhan ko kayo ng i-ta-tag nyo ha?! lol

Nike Windrunner 2008

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